Goodbye to a dear friend...

Gary Martin Redden

April 15, 1941 - October 20, 2009

Yesterday afternoon, Mark's closest friend passed away unexpectedly at his home at the age of 68.

Mark and Gary became friends over 10 years ago. Gary was visiting Mark's home Church and Mark invited him to become involved with our Local Volunteer Fire Department. They became fast friends and found that even though there was nearly a 35 year age difference, they had a lot in common. They quickly bonded through the Fire Service and would usually talk several times a week if not more.

Mark told me last night that before I came along to rescue him from the utter despair of possibly living life alone and without a girlfriend, Gary would often go places with him and help to keep him occupied in those "between" girlfriend times. :o) They were a real mess when they got together. They would laugh and "gab" and snicker like little girls! Gary had this cute little laugh that was like air escaping from a flat tire in little bursts. sssst....ssst....ssssttttt. He reminded me so much of Santa Clause. He was a cute little fella with rosy cheeks and a mouth like a bow. Beard and all! He was Santa! I think Creston even mentioned one time that he looked like Santa!

Gary was one of the most wonderful men that I have ever met. He was quiet and soft spoken, he didn't like to make a "stir" with things, but when he thought that something or someone was being done wrong, he would take a stand and stick to his beliefs and morals and decisions. He was a man of his word. That is something so rare these days.

I lost my Father unexpectedly when I was 19 and he was 75. No loss is ever easy, but when you don't have the chance to make sure to say what you need to say before someone you love goes forever, you are often left with a lot of "I should have said this.....or done that..." With a quick unexpected death, the loved ones don't have to watch anyone suffer for an extended length of time, but you lose the opportunity to have those discussions... With a drawn out death, you are able to say your goodbyes, but in turn, you are forced to witness your loved one experience what has to be an agonizing situation. Death is never easy. Death is that horrible part of life that often makes no sense to us, but it is a part of our lives. We will all die one day and hopefully, we will all be able to see the better things beyond this life.

My husband Mark has never had a lot of good and close friends... Over the years, friends have come and gone, but Gary was always a constant for him. When I came into Mark's life, Gary was already there....established....so I went about the task of becoming Gary's friend too. He, his wife Betty & her Mother Mary, accepted me openly and have since accepted our two children into their family. We have enjoyed being a part of their lives and have enjoyed even more, their being a part of ours.

It's sad that these things often go unsaid until someone is gone. I honestly feel that Gary knew just how important and special he was to Mark based on how he treated Mark ~ with Kindness and Respect. I only hope that we can show others that same kindness in the future and be really great friends to someone else in turn.

Gary, you will be greatly missed. Your shining eyes and little laugh will be missed. Your e-mails and "funny" videos will be missed. Your phone calls to the house saying "Is Mark there?" will be missed. Seeing you drive your little Red Sports Car Convertible will be missed (dodging you on the road, though, won't be!!!!). Knowing that you were always around should an emergency arise will be an adjustment for us all to make, but we will make it, because we know that you are in a better place and we know that you are no longer suffering for our sakes....hanging on a little longer just to make sure that we are all o.k. You stayed with us all much longer than even we thought possible, and for that, we love you more than you will ever know.
You made a difference in our lives ~ you showed us that you can be a good person and stand up for your beliefs and hold your head high even through adversity. I know that you have been an inspiration to Mark and in turn, he will be forever changed because he was able to call you his friend.